CENSORSHIP: This webpage Part 1, after 15 years, had at the end of Jan 2010, after almost 20 000 people have not said anything against it, been put out of Internet search engines by search engine people. Now at the end of March 2010, it is in some of the search engines again. For about 50 years, I have researched dominance-submission relationships. All over the world, all relationships only according to U.S.A. political correctness? U.S.A.-totalitarianism prevents scientific research? Creativity in scientific research needs access to every viewpoint, not only to that what a censor does people allow to know. In France, about year 2008, an organized foreign youth group had cleaned the walls of a cave of what they thought were normal graffiti, what they had done really, was, that they had destroyed valuable ancient cave paintings forever (cultural revolution). John Stuart Mill writes in On Liberty that no human being acquired his/her wisdom but by listening to as many viewpoints as possible and studying all modes in which a problem can be looked at .
You are allowed to put a link to this website on your own website, as networking to be less dependent on search engines.
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Risks of spanking:
This author is in no way liable and responsible for
the consequences of spanking, only the people doing the spanking
are liable and responsible.
A sentence similar to this is often found at the beginning of books
on spanking. I also put a sentence like this at the beginning, because
I have updated this page with so much information about
spanking.
It is important to know that there are also risks involved in
spanking. It is very important that there is no permanent damage
caused by spanking ( ( e.g. not too hard at the wrong place,
do not hit tail bone which is at upper bottom in the middle, do not
hit
the back, some say do not use wood because it is too hard )
One should have knowledge about the risks of spanking to reduce
the risk ( SM clubs, books ).
I use the following two books ( also much information on other
topics )( e.g. from amazon.com ), when I want to know what is
the least risky:
Jay Wiseman : SM 101 . A Realistic Introduction . Second Edition
,
Brenda Love : Encyclopedia of Unusual Se x Practices
.
Formerly there was more in search engines than now: ( BDSM, SM,
spanking, caning ): safety +"tail bone"
This article is written from a social science perspective to
understand
the real
world, also on things on which there is not much research. This text
explains
why all over the world so very many male persons are interested in
female
domination and how female domination does function. This text
is also very
useful in analogy to understand power relationships in politics and
economics.
However texts on subjects like these in history have often been
censored
at first.
How to use:
All relationships worldwide are more or less
dominant-submissive. I think that all dominant -submissive
relationships in a BDSM context must be
consensual, that is, both people in the relationship must agree
with the kind of a relationship(also, break
the will, and spanking until sobbing and weeping). I condemn
relationships which are not consensual
and abusive. And the relationships must be safe( the less risky is
better) and sane
(rational). Consenual does also mean that both persons must be adults.
Knowledge
in
itself is not bad, but bad may be, how persons use knowledge.
The more both people do know
about something, the more intelligently they can decide. This website
is for two people in a close relationship,
especially husband and wife. In contrast, people outside of a
relationship who do scarcely know each other,
do need a safe word for stopping an action ( word "red" for stop,
"yellow" for do less of it, "green" for continue).
However, one may also use a safe word in a close relationship as
husband and wife.
The two people in a dominant-submissive relationship, usuall try out
one of the elements (one small
part) from this website. They first both agree to find out,
whether this element does function
for them.
And then they both decide, whether they want to continue with this
element.
To break (first meaning):
To break means to make obedient, train to obedience, train to obey, or
to tame. One
person may
break
another person, or one person may break an animal.
During military
drills,
especially in the beginning of
military drills, persons are broken by another person. Persons learn
to
be other-directed. Many persons in a dominant
submissive relationship, in a BDSM
context, do want very much to be broken by another person or to break
another person (consensual).
It is essential that both persons must want such a relationship. Both
person must want that the first
person in the relationship is broken sometimes by the second person,
and that the second person
makes the first person break sometimes. It is the wished for dream of
very many people and the
wished for reality of many people. This relationship does function to
the satisfaction of both only,
when the dominant person has charisma (a positive self-image from e.g.
affirmations).
To break (second meaning):
To break means sobbing and weeping and having lost self-control. In
normal
life, this sometimes
is be very bad. However in a BDSM context, this is different. Many
people do want sobbing and
weeping in such a relationship.When both
persons do want sobbing and weeping in a relationship
sometimes, then sobbing and weeping is
no problem. Occasional sobbing and weeping makes the
attitude of the submissive really change. After a submissive person had
been
made to sob
and weep,
this submissive person afterwards often does feel very much joy for a
longer time(e.g. for weeks).
There may however also be sobbing and weeping in a dominant-submissive
relationship which is
not wanted by both and which is is unrelated to the dominant-submissive
relationship, because
bad things sometimes do happen in life.
24/7 or 24/7/365:
24/7 means 24 hours at 7 days of the week. Or 24/7 means a permanent
dominance-submission
relationship. In many cases both people do just want this kind of
relationship. For many people,
relationships without dominance-submission are dull and boring. This is
because, relationships
without dominance-submission are low-emotion relationships, and
relationships with dominance
-submission are strong-emotion relationships. People do want
dominance-submission relationships,
because in dominance-submission relationships emotions are much
stronger. Also in dominance-
submission relationships, there is something like religion, that is
powerful and less powerful,
which people also do like.
Playing roles from former centuries:
When playing roles from former centuries, is consensual, safe and sane,
and also legal,
there is no problem. Many people very much like to play theses roles
from former
centuries. There were many reasons, why people in history had played
these roles.
They both should know the methods of how to make dominant and
submissive
beforehand:
When in the course of a relationship, she does not have charisma and he
does
not allow her to act as real dominant in relation to him, they may only
play
dominance and submission and not act real dominance and submission. Such
a playing domianance and submission may end in quarreling. That is, for
a
successful dominance and submission relationship, she must have charisma
and he must allow her to be really dominant. Both should know beforehand
the methods of how she makes herself dominant and how she will make him
submissive and agree to these methods.When she does know the methods,
she can be much more active in achieving her goals.When he knows the
methods too, he will more likely allow her to make him submissive than
when he would not know the methods of making him submissive, because
he is more prepared for the methods.
Romantic love or erotic urge:
Partly when a person is dominant and has a positive self-image, this
person also
shows more often ROMANTIC love. Partly when a person shows more often
romantic
love, this person also is dominant and has a positive self-image.
Partly when a person is submissive and has a negative self-image, this
person also
shows more often an EROTIC urge. Partly when a person more
often
shows an erotic
urge, this person also is submissive and has a negative self-image.
She may focus her attention, to create more submissiveness in him.
She trains him according to her own values:
Different people do think differently. What some people do regard as
good,
other people do not regard as good. There are different opinions among
people on which behavior they do regard as good or bad. These different
opinions depend on the different experiences in the past of these
people
and their personality traits.
The dominant wife also does have values on which behaviors she regards
in others as good or bad. She determines which behavior in her husband
is good and which behavior in her husband is bad. There are no
arguments
about which behavior is good or bad, because her opinion ( values )
decides
which behavior of her husband is good or bad. Then she trains
and
disciplines him accordingly. It is similar to a mother who trains and
disciplines
a child or an adolescent.
In what behaviors may he have to obey her:
She not only teaches him to be submissive to her, but she also teaches
him in what he has to obey her. There are very many things in which
she may make him obey her. She may e.g. make him obey
in the
following:
He should be open and not have too many secrets to her. Especially he
should not lie to her or deceive her. He should admit his mistakes to
her.
He should talk lovingly and respectfully to her, also on the phone. He
should pay enough attention to her and not put himself in the best light
always. He should not show behavior which is shameful to her.
He should not have bad moods, not quarrel with and be polite with other
people, not smoke and drink alcohol, not have too little sleep at night,
not make mistakes by negligence.
He should not be too inactive or she makes him more active.
He should not be addicted too much to the Internet and telephone.
She has influence, on how he should help her in the house or garden or
kitchen and when shopping, on what he does wear as clothing and
on his
bathing and shaving, on where to go on a holiday, and what to see on
television.
He should not take too long for dressing or get up too late.
He should not disturb her when she is asleep.
He should not avoid work in the house by faking to be unable to
do it.
When they have children, he may help their children with the school
homework and be partly responsible for their good marks in school.
Ambivalence:
When at the beginning, dominance-submission had not been introduced
in a relationship., the female has to ask the male OFTEN whether
he is
interested in a dominant-submissive relationship, because he BOTH
likes
the relationship very much AND fears the relationship very much,
at the
same time or at different times. This liking and fearing at the same
time is
called ambivalence. Ambivalence is characteristic of
dominance-submission.
A negative feeling is usuallly is much stronger than a positive
feeling. When
a negative feeling has made him very emotional, afterwards he
interprets
the feeling as positive because of the strong positive feeling
for her,
especially for her charisma. That is he interprets his feeling in
different context.
As there is an ambivalence , when the female does ask him at first
,
she may get a negative answer , but when asking several times ,
she later may get a positive answer from him , because sometimes
the one
feeling and at other times the other feeling is stronger.
Fear:
Fear generally implies a emotion experienced when one
is confronted by threatening danger ; fear also means an attitude
toward something which when experienced will cause a sensation
of sudden or extreme fear ; fear may also be combined with
trembling , i.e. shaking involuntarily with quick , short
movements.
There are erotic and religious ( someone bigger than oneself
) aspects
of the relationship.
Intimidation:
A domestic discipline relationship may also be seen as an
intimidation relationship. The wife forces her husband into some
behavior
or deters him from some other behavior by inducing fear in him or
making him
timid or filling him with fear. How can she make him fearful and timid
of her?
There are different methods for this. She may use scolding
and
spanking. He is frightened by the possible use of scolding and
spanking. He
tries to evade the possible use of scolding and spanking, by
obeying her. So
his fear of scolding and spanking makes him obey her.
By intimidating him, she also makes him feel that she is superior to
him.
She makes him much less courageous in his behavior towards her, while
she becomes more courageous in her behavior towards him.
She must stare him deep into his eyes:
It is very important that whenever she does look at him, she always
does stare
him deep into his
eyes, without blinking, so that she sees the brown, blue, ..., or black
color of his eyes. She does not
show any positive emotion, she does not smile
and does not laugh and does not have a carefree and
happy conversation. She
may not talk too much. When she does talk to him, she may use a
cold and
controlled voice.
At the same time, she should be confident, stand tall or sit tall and
have a superior
look.
As explained at another place of this website, it is very important for
the
longevity of a relationship that she does have charisma ( a positive
self-image),
which she can
learn by saying daily
positive affirmations to herself, e.g. " I like
myself. I like myself as I am.
Nice to experience this day. I love and accept
myself. I am a wonderful creation." She has to REPEAT each day exactly
the
SAME sentences to her. She does read these sentences in the morning
after
getting up and
says them to herself before going to sleep at night. One may
say these sentences to oneself as a habit each morning and each night
for decades. These sentences one does find in books on positive
affirmations
or affirmations or positive thinking.
Scolding:
People in a dominant position more often than other people do use their
anger
to influence others.
When the wife does scold her husband, she wants to intimidate him, i.e.
make
him fearful so that he obeys her.
How to scold him, so that he changes his behavior?:
She must be patient, persistent, determined and clever to make him obey
her and please
her.
During scolding and during anger and rage, she snaps at him fiercely
whenever he
does not please or obey her. Snapping means addressing or
interrupting him
quickly and in a piercing or shrill voice.
Fiercely means menacing wild , savage
or hostile.
During scolding, she uses
strong or very strong anger and rage, for a short
moment, from
time to
time. Each time after the rage, she acts calmly again.
Three things
are important:
1 The strong or very strong anger and rage must be only for a SHORT
moment
each time. After the short moment she acts calmly again.
2 She REPEATS the strong or very strong anger and rage from time to
time.
3 During the strong or very strong anger and rage for a short
moment, she must not
show any emotion at all, especially she must NOT show any
negative emotion,
i.e. she must use a cold voice and act without any emotion.
An alternative to the above:
What often is not regarded as effective in changing behavior, but
nevertheless
is used, are the following two behaviors:
(1)She may use anger and rage continuously
for a longer time, or
(2)she may use anger and rage together with negative
emotions.
In real dominance and
submission, she wants a change of his
behavior.
Commanding voice:
She may use a commanding voice when she does order him to do something.
A commanding voice means a deep voice, and that at the end of a
sentence, her
voice is getting deeper than during the other part of the sentence.
Attraction of a male to a dominant female:
It is the very superior look of dominant female which in addition
to
charisma attracts a male to her in the first place; in addition he
is also
attracted to her when her body is not too slim or too
slender.
Her
superior look may have to do with a consciousness or feeling of being
better than others or being above others . She may intimidate him by
overbearing ( domineering ) looks or words ( called
browbeat ) .
The dominant female is already or does become decisive ,
determined , resolute , definite , positive ( i.e. stating or
expressing explicitly , clearly , precisely , and categorically
without exceptions or conditions ) , certain , sure ( i.e. full belief
and trust that something is true ) , confident , energetic (
lively ,
brisk and strongly emotional ) , pronounced , decided ,
unequivocal , definite , emphatic ( utters with emphasis ,
strongly expressive and using emphasis in speech and action ) ,
displaying no or little hesistation .
The submissive male is or does become hesistant , tentative , unsure
and uncertain , fearful of being scolded or spanked , fearful of
failure
,
self-distrustful , shy , timid , not definite and not positive
. The male also
has or develops toward her a feeling or an attitude of awe ,
an overwhelming feeling of reverence , admiration , fear , and
deep respect .
Development of female domination :
Female first gives free something what the male wants ( e.g. she
wears some special piece of clothing ) , but after some time
( e.g. weeks ) only in exchange for obedience by male and
she
scolds male if no obedience and persists further on into the
future , e.g. during the next days or weeks , scolding
until male
complies and obeys ; male may say at the first time " just once "
and
then later does do it more often . He yields , submits ,
surrenders
or gives up to her and no longer resists .
Scolding may mean that strong and vehement expression of
disapproval ( because of finding fault with someone because
of e.g. omission , neglect , error , or mistake ) is given at
some
length and harshly , and that speaking about someone or
something is more of less insulting , harsh , and
injust , while the speaker is irritated , which means
excited to impatience and has angry feelings . Finding fault
with someone or something means to complain , criticize ,
and seek and make known defects , flaws , imperfections in
a person and shortcomings like failure , seek and make known
deficiencies in conduct, condition , thought , ability , seek and
make known fault , flaw , failing , weakness ,
foible , weakness , vice . One might also say that she is
snapping at him fiercely . Snapping means addressing or
interrupting him quickly and in a piercing or shrill voice .
Fiercely means menacing wild , savage
or hostile .
When she scolds him , her facial expression , voice , body
posture , words , actions , and methods make her appear
to be unsympathetic , unfeeling , relentless , unpitying ,
unyielding , brusque , unpleasantly serious , bad-tempered , and
grim , i.e. without pity or compassion .
The obedience training begins with trivial things:
Obedience training begins with trivial things, e.g. she lets a paper
drop to the floor and orders him to lift it up. Then she lets drop
other things to the floor and orders him to lift them up. Then he orders
him to put a towel on a bed and similar things. Later are added
more demanding things like washing up the dishes. Still later she
gets control over the the money of the male. She must always
insist that he obeys her. When he does not obey her, she snaps
at him fiercely and continues with other things to obey her. Snapping
means addressing or interrupting him quickly and in a piercing
or shrill voice. Fiercely means menacing wild , savage
or hostile.
When she already does have enough power over him, she also
does use punishment spanking for disobedience. She must be
enough patient, persistent, determined and clever to dominate
a man.
Bad and good and ideal husband:
When he does not obey her, she defines him as a "bad husband". When he
does obey her, she does define hime as a "good husband" or as an
"ideal husband". She may say, that she makes him an ideal husband.
The purpose of spanking instruments:
Spanking instruments ( e.g. hairbrush, paddle, strap, cane) have the
purpose
to cause pain in the spanked person during punishment-spankings. In the
course of time he obeys her more and more, because he fears the pain of
punishment spankings.
How to spank:
Often with her hand, she holds the spanking instrument behind her back.
Then she
moves the spanking instrument with increasing speed over her shoulder
or head
until the spanking instrument hits the lower half of his bottom. Or she
moves the
spanking instrument from the side of her body (possible are different
distance,
height, angle, speed up) to the lower part of his bottom. Or she holds
the spanking
instrument on her other side and moves it backhand ( the back of her
hand in front
when she moves the spanking instrument).
The traditional use of a cane by a wife on her husband:
1 It is important that both wife and husband must agree to use the this
method for establishing
female dominance and male submission in marriage. Else it is abuse
which is to condemn.
For this method, it is important to read about the risks of using a
cane on this website.
At least for centuries, this traditional method of spanking was used.
At former times this same method of spanking with a cane was regularly
used at home
by parents and at school by teachers for discipline in education. I
remember these
times
during my childhood and adolescence until about the year 1980. From
about 1870 onwards
for almost 100 years in Europe most often a cane was used as a spanking
instrument. Many
people from that time had spanking experiences only with a cane.
Nowadays
many wifes
and husbands
want to apply and do apply these
methods of former
times on themselves
as husbands and wives. In the
North American literature on female domination in a
marriage,
the dominant wife most often uses a cane as a spanking
instrument
on her submissive husband.
How can this be done when spanking is first introduced in a marriage?
As with the other methods of spanking, also with this method of
spanking, it is
very important that the wife must have charisma (a positive self-image).
For the first weeks, the wife pleases her husband and gives him
freely what
he does wants without demanding anything in return. Then after these
some weeks,
she does do what he does want only after he has obeyed her before, in
exchange.
This she does for some weeks. Then after these some weeks, she starts
to scold
him wildly, whenever he does not do something she does want him to do.
She continues to scold him wildly for some days and weeks.
When he says it
is not fair, she continues to scold him wildly until he
obeys her.
Also when he
starts to sob and weep, she continues to scold him wildly until he
does obey
her. During the next weeks she continues to scold him wildly for other
things to obey her.
When he does obey her because of scolding, she then introduces a cane.
From then
on she does spank him with a cane, whenever he does not obey or
please her.
1 She may use about e.g. six harder cane strokes.
2 Some wives use the Break spanking method, described on this
website,
but do use a cane instead of a paddle. With the Break spanking
method,
the cane strokes have to be less hard so he can be spanked several
times on the
same day.
When using the cane, she also continues scolding him when necessary.
During spanking
with a cane, he may lie on
a bed.
Often he may be completely naked, while she has clothes on or is at
least
partially dressed, when
she does punishment spank
him. It may not be practical,
when both are completely naked during punishment
spankings, because she
would not have enough authority while being naked.
Often she also touches the places on the skin of her husband with her
hands
immediately before
she spanks these
places with a cane. Some wives spank
him first with a hand, then a paddle and
then a cane.As with other kinds of
spanking, she does announce the spanking
with a cane several hours before
or about 20 minutes before the spanking with
the cane starts. Sobbing and
weeping belong to punishment spanking. After a spanking with a cane she
may embrace him and/or may have
s_exual relations with him.
Also with this method: patience,determination and cleverness of the
wife are
important. Also with this method, the wife must see herself as a
higher being
and regard him as lower being. And the husband must see his wife
as a higher
being and regard himself as a lower being. Once he completely obeys her
(instinctive obedience), she always continues to increase her power
over him,
so that he becomes a yes-man to her and flatters her often.
2 On canes:
Cane strokes are given on the lower half of the bottom
Some protect the upper bottom and the lower
back with a pillow or thick or heavy towels, so that the wrong
place is
not hit,
which
would be
dangerous. Depending on the kind of cane and stroke,
strokes may produce small thin double welts(wales,weals) on the skin.
Canes strokes better should be parallel to each other and not cross
each other, so the skin may no break.
Strokes should not be to the blood, an unintentional drop is not seen
as so important. After a caning, he may notice the after-effects of the
caning for some days when
he is sitting. At a former time people talked
of six of the best as a to
the number
of cane strokes that should be given.
The spanking with a cane must be hard enough
or else it only touches the
skin but does not spank. The longer
the cane is,
the harder the least hard
stroke must be, to be a spanking and not only a touching of the skin.
Therefore
longer canes should be avoided, i.e. one should use only
shorter canes.
Since former times, wives who discipline their husband often use the
cane
which is the most feared instrument of correction. At former times
most
males had experience with the cane at home and at school. Using the
cane
is more risky than using a hairbrush or a paddle, so perhaps a
small or
medium size plastic cane is the best. Practice hitting right
is needed before
e.g. on a cushion. Trying on oneself is done to get to know how
hard it is.
Each time before she does the caning, with the cane and the hands she
may touch
the
places
she wants to cane and make movements in the air with the cane, so that
she has the right feeling to hit the right places. Usually during
spanking with a cane,
the tip of the cane hits the skin which may cause
welts(wales,weals)). Some people
may want welts from spanking. When people do not want
welts(wales,weals), they
may hit with the cane but not with the tip of a cane or they may use a
small riding crop
with a loop at the tip ( from a shop where one also gets canes).
Being spanked by a cane is more painful in reality than in
imagination.
Canes strokes may be more painful and may be painful for a longer
time than strokes
with
other spanking instruments. Therefore canes are the
most feared instruments of
spanking and spanking by canes is effective in making
him obey her. Most canes
in daily life are unsuitable for spanking. Walking sticks are
completely unsuitable for spanking.
One should only use paddles or
canes ( flexible, thin ) made specifically for spanking
by a company, available e.g.
via the Internet
or a se-x shop. The longer canes are,
the riskier they are, so do not
use a long cane.
A canes often are from 50 cm to 100 cm long.
For over
the lap spankings, a cane is shorter. Canes of
bamboo are unsuitable for spanking because they break easily and
therefore injure
because bamboo canes are hollow. For spanking canes must be full
inside, like
canes of rattan (wooden).
Canes of wood must be handled correctly(e.g. correct humidity) which
takes time, or
they do not
last very long. In this respect canes of plastic are better, because
they
are
always ready for use without special care.
How to avoid risks, so no permanent damage is caused by canes:
(1)do not hit tail bone which
is at the upper
part of the bottom in the middle,
(2)do not hit the back, (especially dangerous is on the lower back
because of the kidneys there)
(3)some people say cane strokes with wooden canes should not be too
strong,
because wood is harder than bones.
(4) Some people say that canes strokes should not be on the lower part
of the upper
tigh, to not cause nerve and muscle damage, because the
lower part of the
upper tigh is not so well protected. Cane strokes should only be on the
lower half
of the bottom. Only touching with a cane, may also be used on other
parts of the
body.
The conclusion: When using canes,
(1)canes should be short, i.e. not too long, and ,
(2) plastic canes may be better than wooden canes.
(3) cushions or heavy thick towels should be put on the places not too
hit
(4) Cane strokes should be given only on the lower half of the bottom.
Mostly, the bigger the skin area ( as with a paddle ) the spanking
instrument does touch,
the
louder the noise on the skin and the less risky.
The smaller the skin
area ( as with a cane ) the spanking instrument does
touch, the less noise on the skin but
also
the more risky it is.
The less weight a cane does have, the more it feels on the surface
of the
skin. The more weight a cane does have, the more it does feel below
the
surface of the skin.
The thinner a cane is, the stronger is its effect on the surface of
the skin.
The thicker a cane is, the stronger is the effect below the surface
of the
skin.
Canes, paddles, etc. are available e.g. via the Internet e.g at
www.peitschenhandel.de or at the
Disciplinary
Wives Club( DWC ).
Some people collect these canes, paddles, etc.,
which
are produced specifically
for spanking and put them at a place
where these people can see them
every day.
On straps:
Straps are e.g. flexible pieces of leather ( e.g. 5 cm x 30 cm, thin
or thick).
A tawse is a strap at the end divided in e.g. two or three parts.
A ( broad ) belt
may also be used as a strap with both ends and the belt buckle held
in the hand
of the spanker. Strap strokes are given on the lower half of the bottom
and below on the upper part of the upper thigh.
On whips:
In France especially, the martinet, a kind of whip has been used for
spanking.
Variations:
During spankings she may order him to stand so that the tips of his
toes
point in, so that there is the biggest area for spanking.
Sometimes wives do use several instruments in one spanking, e.g.
first
touching
the place to be spanked several times with a hand, then spanking with
the
hand, then using a paddle and then a cane. The last strokes are
harder
than the first strokes, so they are kept longer in his memory to
improve
his
behavior.
Exotic forms:
1Sometimes
she may also use the following: After a taking a bath, being
spanked is more
painful.
And also the following: With wearing wet underwear
clinging to the
skin,
being spanked is more painful.
2It is very dangerous, to use nettles when a person is allergic to
them. When the spanked person
is not allergic to stinging nettles, some
wives hold stinging nettles with handkerchiefs, and
2.1move the stinging nettles over the skin of the huband,
2.2 some wives do use stinging nettles to spank the husband, or
2.3 put the stinging nettles below his trousers on his skin for a
shorter time or for some hours.
(Before being used, the nettles may be put into a glass of water to be
fresh longer.)
3 Some wives tie the husband up and tickle him with fingers or with (
from
s.shops) feathers similar
to feathers of birds.
More details in book: Jay Wiseman : SM 101 . A Realistic
Introduction
. Second Edition.
Also e.g. one hundred years ago, people did talk about how to make
spanking safer.
As spanking is used less frequently nowadays, people often do not know
about this.
When one does see spanking on the Internet, one also sees that the
people doing
the spanking mostly do know about how to make spanking less risky.
When one does spanking only in imagination, one does not need
to know how it is in
reality, but I think that a realistic imagination is better than an
unrealistic imagination.
Face slapping:
Many people do not use face slapping because it is too dangerous.
Slapped is the
area where the teeth are below the skin, except the mouse itself is not
slapped.
Some
people do
use very light face slapping on the lowest part of the face. They
very
lightly slap the
face on the areas from the ends of the mouth on both sides to
where
there are no
bones. Between the ears and the nose are the cheek bones.
The face
between the
cheek bones and the lower end of the face ( but not the
cheek bones
themselves )
is the area where some people do use very light slaps on
the face. For face slapping, she ususually uses the front of her
hand, but sometimes
also the back of her hand; or for the one side of his face, the front
of her hand,
and for the other side, the back of the same hand. During face
slapping, she
stands tall or sits
tall. As he may anticipate
a face
slapping, he may hold his hands
before his face. She may take his hands
down or
tell him to take his hands down.
During face slappings some females
do hold his
chin up with one hand ( better )
and others do not. Each time before the
face slapping,
she may touch the part of
the face she wants to slap, so that
she hits the right place.
He has to look her in the
eyes while she scolds him and from time to
time gives him
face slaps with her hands
or gloved hands. Though generally she does not allow him to stare deep
into her eyes.
When he looks away after
a face slap,
he has again to look her in the eyes for the
next face slap. Between
real slaps, she
may touch his face several times only as if
she wanted to slap but not
slap. Sometimes he may
be shackled during face slapping.
Face slaps are not there to
be painful,face slaps
are only there so that he takes notice
of her, therefore during face slaps
she may also
grab his tip of the nose for some
seconds and move it. Or she may take his ears
for some seconds and move them.
She may also stare into his eyes until
he gets a red face.
When to introduce punishment spankings:
The big question is: From when on lets he himself be
punishment-spanked
by her, e.g. he bends over a table and stays in this positon during
punishment
spanking?
Only in case that she is physically or bodily stronger than
him,
she may
punishment spank him because she is bodily stronger than him. They may
use their bodily strength on each other ( Who is the stronger one? ).
When she is the stronger one, he allows her to punishment-spank
him from then on.
Often the female is not stronger than the male. What may she do
then?
She may scold him for some weeks or months, until he obeys her.
When he then obeys her, he may also allow her to punishment-spank
him.
Usually the female power over the male has strenghtened
enough for the starting of punishment spanking only after a longer
time
( scolded very often by a charismatic female, he accepts her opinions
of him as a matter of fact ). Sometimes punishment spanking may start
after
some months, sometimes much earlier, sometimes only after the
wedding day. After the wedding day, it is much more difficult for
the male to leave the relationship than before the wedding day, so
that she may dare more things and allow herself more things with
him, i.e. it is more easy for her to punishment-spank him or change
him completely from a dominant man before the wedding day to
a submissive husband after the wedding day.
Before marriage or during marriage, how long it does last until she
does start punishment spanking him, also depends on the kind of
male, with some males it needs only a much shorter time to start
spanking him than with other males.
To introduce punishment spanking into a relationship, it may help,
when
(1) she learns to regard herself as a higher being and regard him as
a
lower being,
(2) she learns to feel and act very superior towards him,
(3) she feels and acts towards him like a dominant mother
towards her son at the chil dhood age or adolescence
age.
The husband might imagine that his wife is his dominant mother,
and he might feel and act accordingly.
Control over money and spankings:
For many cases the most effective means for the female to start
punishment spank the male, is female control over his money.
With female control over his money, she may start punishment
spanking him soon after she has reached control over his
money with or without marriage.
Female control over his money does mean that she does have
all the money he does get and she decides how much money
she does give him, e.g. an allowance or more. She is the only
source from which he does get money. He has to ask the female
for money when he needs money and has to tell her what he
does do with the money .This makes the female much more
powerful than the male . The female decides how much money she
does give to the male, which she also does use as a means to
influence his behavior. She may give him the money only after
he has allowed himself to be spanked by her. It also has to do
with how much money she does give him how often. When
she does give him too much money, he may have left money
over from the time before, does not need money at the moment
and she as a consequence does have less power over
him.
Once there is this female control over money , punishment
spankings female-to-male can start much earlier and soon
afterwards . It is said that females are as dominant as males
when females do have control over money. When the female
sometimes says 'no' to the male , when he asks her for
something ( e.g. money ) , then he always does feel dependent
on her . In general , he does become completely dependent on
her and her character and her values. How does she get control
over his money? As shown above, she scolds him until he lets
her have control over his money. He does give her all the money
he does earn on a job.
There may be an account with his money to which only she
does have access ( blocked account ). Or she may also have
access to his account and he gives her his card .
They both like female domination and male submission, but there
must also be safeguards that female control over money is not abused
( e.g. in a shorter relationship ). Of course she does have privileges
by controlling money on how to spend money.
Reasons for spanking:
The reason for a spanking may be that the female is displeased
with the male or there may be no reason at all except the female
wanting it . When the male does make a mistake , that may not
be a reason for a spanking, but when the male does not obey the
female , that is a reason for a spanking . Also when the male does
not behave enough submissively to her , that also is a reason for
a spanking. Sometimes when she has been frustrated and is angry
at someone somewhere else like on the job, at a department shore,
or on the road, she may direct her anger at him and scold and spank
him for some other reason.
She may also punishment-spank him, when he reacts too erotically
to her, because then, as experience does show, he does not
obey
her enough in his other behavior. Sometimes she may also spank
him only for fun or pleasure, when she does want it.
Punishment-spankings:
To change the male's behavior, the spankings must be so hard ,
that he does not like them , that he does fear them and that
they are painful , what is called punishment-spanking ( severe
chastisement ). If he does like the spankings, they are not hard
enough and his behavior does not change. Spankings which
are not painful, are useless. They must be really painful and
uncomfortable.
Punishment-spankings ( he does not like these spankings , harder )
and erotic spankings ( he does like these spankings , less hard )
are
two opposing things.
From his behavior and expressed feelings she does conclude if the
spankings are harder than he does like them.
After several weeks or months , the punishment spankings do feel
as being self-evident , natural , normal , and a matter of
fact .
The first strokes of spanking may not be painful, but when the strokes
of spanking are hard enough, they get the more painful, the more often
they are repeated on the same place of the skin. When he cannot
stand the strokes any more, he starts to sob and weep.
With punishment spankings there may be erotic feelings just before
spankings and before spankings are harder than he does like them,
but there are no erotic feelings when spankings are harder than he
does like them, because spankings are too strong. He does notice
the effects of a spanking ( especially a caning ) for some days when
he does sit.
Of course spankings are combined with scoldings.
Spankings may be combined with bondage , i.e. being tied
up.
The habit of obedience:
She does not punishment spank him only so that he does obey her this
one
time or that one time.
Her main goal is that by her spanking he does learn and develop
the HABIT of obedience, i.e. he does learn to obey her automatically
and almost involuntarily each and every time (instinctive obedience).
A habit is caused by
repetition. His habit of obedience to her is also
called: "She
dominates
him
completely by the strength of her
will."
Spankings may be given more or less frequently , e.g.between almost
every
day
(as far as possible)
and once per every two weeks and less frequently , depending
on whether
there
needs to be more obedience or whether there is already enough
obedience. The less obedient he is , the more frequently he gets
spanked.
So in the beginning when learning the habit of obedience he gets
spanked
more than later, and later sometimes he gets spanked more e.g.
when
she does want get more things done than usual .
Often spanking disciplinary dominant wives spank their husband twice
a week, so that the habit of obedience does not get lost.
Also during former
centuries, punishment-spankings were not done for obeying
this one time or that
one time, but for obeying each and every time automatically.
When she starts
training him in the habit of obedience, she may tell him that
she has to
punishment-spank him often until he has learned the habit of
obedience and obeys
her each and every time automatically. Then she also
punishment-spanks him often
until he has learned the habit of obedience
and obeys her each and every time automatically.
After he has learned the habit of obedience, she only
does punishment-spank
him so often that he does maintain ( not lose ) the habit of
obedience, e.g. she
may spank him twice a week then. During former centuries, punishment
spankings for maintaining the habit of obedience, were the most often
used
forms of punishment spanking. Also nowadays punishment spankings
for
maintaining the habit of obedience are often used by dominant wives on
their submissive husbands. Many submissive men regard this kind of
dominant wives as their ideal wife, they feel very attracted to this
kind of woman
and love her very much.
Tied and helpless:
During spankings, a female may tie him to a bed, so that he experiences
helplessness and
powerlessness against her. If he allows it or not,
he
has to stay in one postion until she has finished punishment spanking
him.
This powerlessness and helplessness during spanking makes spanking
more effective in changing his behavior. It is also effective when at
first the
habit of obedience training is introduced in a relationship, i.e. when
he
learns to obey her each and every time automatically..
Also when he does not move suddenly, she does not hit the wrong place.
He has plastic shackles with velcros or leather shackles on his
arm and
his legs. For this the male must trust her or a third person must be
present,
so there is no risk of crime. Best he lies on a bed and the shackles
with
clothes lines are tied to a bed ( because standing would be a problem
in
an emergency ), and best one arm is not tied, so in case of an
emergency
he can free himself after some time. Or he may be tied, but not to
something unmovable.
Velcro and leather shackles may be obtained via the Intenet or
a se-x
shop
Dominance-submission and money:
The submissive ( male ) often sees especially the emotional ( love )
aspect of a dominant-
submissive relationship. The dominant ( wife ) may see dominance and
submission
in a more rational way. The dominant ( wife ) may see more the
advantages and
privileges it gives her over the submissive ( male ).
For women often there are two career chances: On the job and in
marriage.
Sometimes women say that many women want only the money of a man,
because job chances of men are regarded as better. Many emotions are
shown,
but the real purpose may be money ( as in the economy ). Many
statistics show
that what people in marriage quarrel most about, is money.
Income on jobs is seen as question of power. Also the money
distribution in
marriage is a question of power. As the dominant wife is more powerful
and
important in marriage than the submissive husband, she also does get a
higher
share of the common income in marriage. Thus because she is dominant in
marriage, she also does get a higher share of the income. She gets more
money
and can buy more things from the money for herself. This may motivate
some
women strongly interested in money, to be dominant in marriage and
therefore
get the privileges.
It is of course right that a dominant wife because of her dominance gets
more advantages and privileges concerning money in a marriage
relationship.
Anyhow, to some extent, the degree of inequality of money is limited,
because the
marriage relationship must continue. A problem is when the inequality of
money is getting too big. A big advantage of the female dominance and
male submissiveness relationship is of course that there is no
quarreling
over money. For the male the emotional ( love ) relationship is also a
big advantage. So it is worth the price when the dominant wife in
a
marriage gets more of the money.
Servility:
When she dominates him completely by the strength of her will, she
will
alway increase her power of him and he becomes servile to her.
Servile means ( similarities to religions ):
1 He is cringing, makes himself small at her presence, bends the head,
shoulders,
and the body forward and downward to her or bends close to the ground..
2 He shows abject submission. He grovels. Because he humbles himself
to her and
because he shows low self-esteem, he appears to her as being
contemptible,
despicable, base, mean, low, and vile. This however is not recommended
because a
too low self-esteem does have disadvantages as shown here at another
place..
3 He flatters her, he is a yes man.
4 He is fawning, he seeks notice or favor from her by servile behavior.
Screaming during spankings:
Spankings which are not painful are useless ( punishment
spankings ). She decides how loud during spankings he
is allowed to cry out ( i.e. loud articulate or inarticulate sounds
)
or to scream ( i.e.high-pitched, in a high voice, loud, piercing,
shrill cries ) or to shriek ( i.e.higher-pitched, higher voice,
louder,
sharper, shriller, more piercing, briefer cries than screaming ).
He may sound like: "(stroke)Oh...(stroke)ohhh...(stroke)uhh...
(stroke)uhh...(stroke)ahhh...(stroke)ahhhh."
When tears in the eyes of the male have not started before spanking,
they often start during the crying out, screaming or shrieking during
the spanking.
He may also writhe and squirm and twist during spankings.
Dialogues during spankings:
When he says: "It's painful." , she may say: "It should be painful.
The purpose of punishment-spankings is,that they are painful.
It is all for your own benefit, because it improves your behavior."
During former times almost all people got spanked during some
time of their life.They have all been through it."
When he says: "It hurts!", she says: "It should hurt, hurting is
the purpose of punishment-spanking."
When he says: "Mercy!", she may say: "You get it!" or
"You have it."
When he says: "I shall be good.", she may say "Good." and
spank him.
When he says: "No more!", she may say: "I determine when we
are finished, not you."
When he says: "Why are you spanking me now?", she may say
"Because I want it!"
When he cannot stand, bear, endure pain any more ( cannot continue
resistance and patience), he starts to sob and weep. Sobbing
means a convulsive( shaking violently) catching of the breath.
Weeping means expressing an overpowering emotion by shedding tears.
Or weeping means crying heavily (shedding tears) because of pain.
Male tears ( crying, sobbing, weeping , tears in eyes ) make the
male more influenceabe by the female and behavior
change more likely, that is when there are male tears, it is more
more effective in improving his behavior.
Sometimes she does want to make him sob and have tears in
the eyes. To make him sob and have tears
in his eyes, she may use on him
1 either wild scolding or
2 punishment
spankings or
3 both of the above.
The husband's occasional sobbing and weeping is essential
for his submission in a disciplinary female dominated marriage.
So he has to accept his occasional sobbing and weeping as
a part of a female dominated marriage. The submissive husband
must get used to sobbing and weeping sometimes and see it
as normal. As he must see it as normal to getting
punishment-spanked by his wife sometimes.
Waiting before a spanking ( e.g. 20 minutes, he puts the utensils
for spanking to the right places ) and waiting after a spanking
( male standing in a corner of the spanking room and facing this
corner, called corner time ) and the announcement of a spanking
several hours earlier are what make male emotions ( tears
in the eyes ,crying , sobbing, weeping , in tears ) before ,
during and after a spanking stronger.
Announcement of a spanking several hours earlier make him
think of the spanking almost all of the time until the spanking does
take place and causes sobbing and weeping. When there are no male
tears before the spanking, then they are most likely to occur
during the spanking when spanking gets harder than what he
does like.
Announcement of a spanking several hours earlier are also useful ,
when the situation does not allow the spanking at the moment
( e.g. other people present ) .
Break Spanking:
This Break Spanking here is very similar to what is used
nowadays by millions
of people in the U.S. who are pro-spanking in chi ld rearing. The
method looks as if it had
been invented by social science and looks more researched than other
older methods of spanking.
The method used here is simple and very effective for wives to make
their husband completely
and permanently obey them.
The specialties are: spankings because of the wrong attitude, spankings
always until
sobs and weep, repeat spankings on the same day. Spankings last until
sobbing and
weeping come and he has broken.
Incomplete spankings:
There is a second kind of spanking. Incomplete spankings are the
opposite of Break Spankings.
Incomplete spankings make his rebellion only
stronger. During incomplete spankings he makes
himself stiff, grits his teeth and
says "I can take it", my will is still my own. These incomplete
spankings are more stressfull for wife and husband, as there are power
struggles. With
break spanking, the wife has much more power over her
husband and is less
emotional, but much surer in her dominance over her husband, i.e.
it is much easier for
the wife. Some people do use incomplete spankings to make the spanked
person more
dominant in his behavior to other people afterwards.
Scoldings are necessary in every dominant-submissive relationship:
However, I do think that in dominant-submissive relationship of wife
and husband, in every
case much scolding is necessary by the wife for a well-functioning
relationship, as the wife
also does need enough power over him ( i.e. he needs to obey her
enough ), before
spankings do take place, so that she can start spanking him. In female
domination many
women wrongly assume, that scolding is no longer necessary and
therefore no longer use
scoldings and therefore are suprised that a female domination
relationship does not last for
many years.
For a break spanking often a bigger paddle (
wooden, leather or rubber )
is used,
perhaps also the smooth side of a broader hairbrush. Spanked is
the nak ed lower
half
of the backside ( bottom, behind ) as usual. Some wives use only the
same paddle and
put it when just not used at the same place where he can see it, other
wives do use several
spanking instruments.
The break spanking method works like this: The wife one day
explains the method
to her
husband, so that his husband is not confused. Thereafter sometime she
orders the
husband to do something. After some time she repeats the order. When he
does not obey
her, some time later she does start with the new break
spanking method.
The wife must already have enough power over her husband, so that he
does obey her
enough.
With the break spanking she has to see that her husband does
not go to another
place of the room, when she does spank him, because the spanking is
harder than he
does like it. He does like it very much do be in such a
dominant-submissive relationship,
but he does not like it when the spanking is really painful and he is
spanked until he sobs
and weeps, but he does know very well, that the painfulness and the
sobbings and weepings
are an essential part of the relationship, he likes so
much. He loves his wife much more
because there are also painfulness and the sobbing and weeping in the
relationship. This
means that there is ambivalence in what he does experience. The
negative emotions in
general are much stronger usually than positive emotions. His emotions
have become very
strong by the spankings and her positive
presence with her charisma makes his emotions
positive and much
stronger than when he had not been spanked. Therefore he does have
very strong love emotions for her.
To prevent it that the husband goes to another place of the room during
the spanking, she
may use the following:
a During the spanking the husband is put over and between her knees,
while she sits on a bed.
b She sits on her husband, who lies on a bed and spanks him from there.
c He lies on a bed ( tied down partiallly as explained in another part
of this text ) while he
is being spanked by her.
1 There are two things she does
spank him for:
bad outward actions and bad inward attitudes.
1a She does spank him, when he does not obey her authority.
1b She does spank him, when he does have a wrong or bad attitude toward
her
authority.
A wrong
or bad attitude to her authority may be an attitude of willful
disobedience,
willful
stubbornness, defiance, rebellion toward wife, resistance and
disrespect and
rebellion toward authority of wife, using rebellious words, sassing,
giving willful looks,
pushiness, when he complains after a
spanking about the spanking, mutters curses
behind her back, pouting, backtalking, delaying
and obeying slowly, making mistakes
and errors intentionally out of protest,
pretending not to be able to do an activity,
being sullen and sour, frowning, giving
an angry defiant
protest, when pulling away
before a spanking, being selfish and self-centered and irresponsible,
crying too long
as a protest, screaming yelling or crying too loudly and not only
softly during a
spanking (
other
people do hear it and the sobbings and the weepings cause stress
emotions in other people when they do hear them.)
The husband usually should have a sweet, submissive attitude. Only
after a spanking
he should have sad attitude and repent his former behavior.
The spankings should not be too hard, so that spankings can last
longer, though the
spankings always have to be really painful.
2 Break spankings in every case do last until sobbing and
weeping:
What is very
important is that she must
every time spank him so long that at the end of
the spanking he does sob and weep (
not of anger, but because of a broken will ).
So the number of spanking strokes is not determined
in advance, but depends on the
reactions of her husband. The spankings always to the sobbing and
weeping have the
purpose to break his will.
The spankings always have to last all the time until he no longer can
stand the pain of spanking.
When he no longer can stand the pain of spanking, he starts to sob and
weep.
When he starts
to sob and weep, she still continues the spanking for a short time
only,
so that his sobbing
gets stronger.
3 Broken Will:
A broken will does mean a strong change of his attitude.
He no longer does have the
attitude he had before the spanking. This is also called: he has
surrendered his will. His will has
given in. His former defiance has become a broken-hearted sobbing. He
has
become repentant and
submissive. He has gotten an attitude of brokenness, humility, and
meekness. He utters a sad
cry from the pain of the spanking. His selfishness is broken.
After the spanking the husband is given a few minutes to cry, so
that the wife can see
which attitude he does have after being spanked. During these minutes
of his crying, the wife
EMBRACES her husband. In some cases, she she does not
wait for some minutes after a
spanking, i.e. when usually there is no problem with his attitude after
a spanking.
When the husband
still sobs and weeps, he makes an impression of sorrow,
repentance,sadness, of
being pathetic,
so his wife has no problem giving him a hug or embrace and
reassures him
of her love.
Mostly a
husband then gets a sweet submissive attitude after the hug. The hug or
embrace after the end of
each spanking is very important!
4 More spankings on same day all also until sobbing and weeping:
At the end of the spanking he must have a sad attitude and must repent
his former behavior.
She asks him repeatedly whether he repents his former behavior and
checks that his attitude is sad.
She always asks him if he repents his former behavior and checks that
he is sad.
Sometimes the first spanking
was not enough and the husband still has the wrong attitude.
Because of his still wrong attitude, he
is given a second spanking like the first spanking,
i.e. again a painful spanking until he sobs and weeps. If the
wrong attitude still persists, he
is given a third spanking or as many as are necessary to end his wrong
attitude.The husband
may have tested her determination ( resolve ), if she really does mean
it. Once the husband
perceives
that his wife will
not yield, he does change his wrong attitude and gets a sweet
attitude. A first
spanking may be given because of an disobedience. A second spanking may
be
given because he screamed too loudly during the spanking and a third
spanking because
he moved
too much during the spanking. She gives him a second spanking when
during
the first spanking his sobbing is more like an angry defiant protest
than a than a sad sobbing
from the spanking. She also does give him a second spanking when after
the first spanking
he sobs and weeps too long because he fakes spanking or tries to spank.
More spankings
are needed in general during the first day and
first days of spanking ( perhaps one or two
hours on the first day because of repeat spankings
). Husbands who have a strong will need
more spankings than husbands who have a weak will.
Some husbands are more strongly
willed than others. The hug or embrace after the end of each
spanking is very
important!
Spankings are continued from then on during the next years, but
spankings are less needed in the
course of time, as the husband has learned how to behave well.
The wife
must be consistent
and see where her husband disobeys and spank him accordingly, so that
it is rare that he gets
away with something.She should also not omit spankings for a longer
time. Also she must
be determined, not only in her
look, and be firm. She lets her husband inform her, but she
decides what her husband has to do and
she stays with her decisions no matter what.
She
may set rules for his behavior; she may make a list of not-to-do things
for which he gets
spanked and explain the list to him.
After she
has announced a spanking to him, she always
does give him a spanking after
waiting some hours or 20 minutes. He should if possible never escape
the announced spanking.
She does insists until she has given him the announced spanking. To
motivate him to allow her
to spank him, she may do the following two things:
1 She may tell him repeatedly before the spanking that he has no chance
of escaping the spanking.
2Regularly she may ridicule him before a spanking, i.e. she may
make fun of him unkindly with the
intention of humiliating him.
He has to obey her instantly and immediately without delay
and without question and argument
(
unquestioning obedience, instinctive obedience ), because she does tell
him only once to do
something and when he does not do it, he gets a spanking.She may
explain him the
reasons only
after he has obeyed her. When the wife says do, the husband does. He
has to obey her
every time,
also then when she it is not fair or
she does make a
mistake, because he has to respect
her authority. She loves her very much and she is like a goddess
to him. He becomes a
sweet, submissive husband.
Now instead, on Part 1a are:
More on: SPANKING DOMINANT DISCIPLINARY WIVES
,
on human beauty by charisma, positive affirmations,
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Part 1 Part 1a Part 1b Part 1c Part 1d Part 2 Part 2a Part 2b Part 2c Part 3